The iPhone 5: The Speculation and Rumors Over A Handset That Doesn't Exist

        It's almost here. 12. We've all seen this meaningless image, and somehow have all been convinced that it's hints towards the unveiling of Apples latest abomination, the iPhone 5. Now don't get me wrong, the iPhone 5 could very well compete with the latest Android devices, but is it likely? Not a chance. The problem, and the advantage of Apple's marketing techniques are that they assert themselves through a silent treatment towards their liberal hipster audience. Do I have anything against liberal hipsters? No, I'm just stating the obvious stereotype that most Apple consumers tend to share.. Using this roughly 11-month silent treatment, Apple establishes a hype over a device that hasn't been announced, yet its very existence has been predicted by its mass audience. This is due to the fact that iPhone devices have been released annually during the same release window quarter since the iPhone (1?) It's actually an excellent style of strategic marketing, but also one that's destined to wear off at some point in time.

        Since us Apple fans never actually get any specifications on their handsets until days within their release frame, we have to create our own predictions based on absolutely no information whatsoever. While many of us Apple fanatics enjoy discussing speculation over a device that doesn't exist, I assume other people find it extremely annoying. (We They do.) And they wouldn't find it the least bit annoying if they had evidence to backup their speculation, or if they actually discussed other devices as Android groupies do, but instead all of us Apple fans fall into this speculation, obsessing over false information, and then "show off" a smartphone that they neither own, nor exists in the first place. I'm really sorry if you are one of those people like me who obsesses over Apple as if they are actually an innovative company, but I needed to get my opinion out there regarding this subject.

What To Expect

4G LTE

        Sure most devices other than the iPhone have used speedy 4G LTE radios since 2011 (which is a long time in smartphone years), but Apples decided to be their usual, different selves and have decided to take another direction in the mobile data category. People expected the iPhone 4S to include 4G capabilities, but Apple just wasn't ready for this type of change. (Are they ever?) Sometimes this can be a good thing, as taking on experimental technologies can be well, experimental, but this isn't the case with 4G LTE, as the technology has been used in many phones since 2010, and 4G itself has been used in South Korea since 2006, so during the time period when the 4S was in production, 4G was not a new technology.

Larger Screen

        Let's face it. The screen on the iPhone 4S, as well as many of its other features, is incompetent. While the latest blockbuster Android device, the Samsung Galaxy S III shows off its 4.8-inch 720p screen, the iPhone 4S has a mere 3.5-inch 640p screen. Now, some may argue that the latest iPhone is about a year old now, while the Galaxy S III was only recently released, but I would respond by saying, "Whose fault is that?" because it's Apples fault for not creating a mainstream, open-source mobile operating system that can be enjoyed on various smartphones, whether they're low-end or high-end devices. Apple has 1 phone, and within a month of its annual release, Google can come back with something better because they haven't restricted their operating system to one phone; everyone can love Android, no matter what phone they have. (Unless of course they have the iPhone.) 

This is all I am certain you can expect from the iPhone "5", as I am not a psychic.

What Not To Expect

         If I were an Apple-crazed fool, which according to this article I am, then September 12th would be my favorite day of this year (besides December 21st), but I wouldn't expect any Android-esque operating system from iOS 6, as Apple should be very careful not to infringe any of Google's patents, for if they were to do such things September 12th wouldn't be such a happy day for Apple fans anyway after their law suit against Samsung for patent infringements. And if you were expecting an Android-esque OS, why not just upgrade to an Android device?

Bullogna's Back-To-School Shopping Guide: Smartphones and Tablets

        Whether you're already in school, heading back to school, or graduated 60 years ago, there's always a good excuse to buy yourself (or your kid) a new gadget. Yeah, I'm talking to you, grandpa. And with so many various options in the wonderful world of devices, it can sometimes be hard to choose a new smartphone or tablet. That's why we're here; so we can pick it out for you (and so you don't get sucked in to buying from a company just because they're the biggest, or because they recently won a dispute between themselves and another company-- not mentioning any names.) So hurr wehr gehrr agerhn. Ehrr yurh redehr?

Smartphones

Samsung Galaxy S III

Price: $199.99 w/ upgrade

        If you know me well enough, or you creep on my Facebook every now and again, you probably saw this coming as my top choice for smartphones. At this point, the iPhone 4S is incompetent and irrelevant, and this beautiful device remains at the top of the smartphone food chain, devouring everything in its path. Its beautiful screen, powerful processors, and hi-def built-in cameras all account for a phone that excels at anything one would need a smartphone to excel at, making a tablet completely irrelevant to anyone whose device upgrade was made available near its release date. (I'm jealous of all of you who were that fortunate, as I'll probably upgrade to the Galaxy S VI by the time my upgrade comes around.) Nevertheless, this phone  marks the moment where the iPhone itself becomes irrelevant, providing the reason Apple decided to sue Samsung in the first place. They're afraid, and I don't blame them.

Sony Xperia Ion

Price: $99.99 w/ upgrade

        If you're lucky enough to live in an area where AT&T's service isn't complete crap, then allow me to introduce you to their greatest phone: the Sony Xperia Ion. When you hold it in your hands, you'll know it's the one, but if you don't have AT&T, you can hang this idea up altogether, as it's only available on the network who once raised our nation's bar, but for those of you who are with big blue, you can get your hands on this beauty for only $99.99! (Wouldn't have been worth it for $100.)

Tablets

Nexus 7

Price: $199 (8 GB) or $249 (16 GB)

        This is a device I can actually speak with experience from, and here's my opinion on tablets in general. If you have a nice new smartphone with a large HD screen, you probably don't need any kind of slate PC, unless of course your smartphone lacks Android, or for some odd reason you need your tablet to have quad-core processors. Tegra 3 simply isn't worth an extra 200 bucks. But I have a Samsung Stratosphere with a 480p screen and very poor processors. It's great for on-the-go Google-"ing" and possibly a news article now and then, but at home I prefer my Nexus 7, and no doubt wish it was my phone. It's got speedy processors, a sharp screen, and even a newer, cleaner OS (4.1 Jelly Bean). It was worth every penny, but depending on what phone you have, it may not be for you.

iPad?

Price: $499

        

No, that question mark was not a typo. I know I'm just constantly bashing Apple in this article, but trust me, I do it out of love. The iPad is almost as irrelevant as the iPhone which itself is nearing the irrelevance of the iPod Touch, and the reason lies just above this sub-article: The Nexus 7. Who needs an iPad when the Nexus 7 does more for a lower price? If it wasn't for its 2K screen resolution, the iPad would no longer exist, but I must admit the resolution is quite impressive, though the games at this resolution most likely lag, and most probably don't even support its 2K screen, but it was a nice attempt on Apple's part. But why would we need a resolution that's not even available on most larger-sized consumer TVs on a 10-inch screen? We don't, but Apple assumed we did. The human eye can't even tell the difference between the iPad's and the Nexus 7's resolution at this size, but if you really want to pay over $300 more for something your eyes can't even distinguish, or size inconvenience, it's a free country; do what you please. I recommend looking into the Nexus 7, though.